Relationship abuse, or dating/domestic violence, includes any number of behaviors used by one person to assert power and control over their current or former romantic partner.
Types of Abuse
The following are types of abuse:
Social Isolation: Abusers can cause interference in relationships with their partner's family and/or friends. Isolation takes away a person's control as they lose reality-testing, resources and support available to them.
Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse harms an individual's self-esteem and self-worth to make them feel responsible for further abuse and mistreatment. This can include verbal abuse and name-calling, gas-lighting, guilt trips, and controlling behaviors. The effects of emotional abuse can often last longer than physical abuse.
Financial Control: This can be a result of theft or manipulation, destruction of property, coerced/forced loans, or behaviors that prevent one from obtaining/maintaining employment.
Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is present when the abuser forces, pressures or coerces any sexual acts or contact. Being in a relationship does not obligate anyone to engage in sexual behaviors. Sometimes abusers will want to be sexual following an incident of abuse as part of the hearts and flowers phase of the cycle of violence. Victims/survivors will sometimes acquiesce to avoid further abuse or harassment.
Intimidation/Threats: Abusers can use threats, facial expressions, actions or gestures to create fear, minimize their partners confidence, and pressure their partner into compliance. This can include punching walls, destroying property, and driving recklessly.
Physical Violence: Physical violence can include any actual or threatened physical attacks and is not limited to those only directed at the person. It can include acts like restraining, blocking exits, harming pets, grabbing, and shoving.
If You Experience Relationship Abuse or Violence
If you are experiencing abuse, CARE is available for support, even if the abuse is not physical. CARE advocates are experienced in responding to issues of unhealthy, toxic or abusive relationships. Help is available at 910.512.4821.
A CARE advocate can assist with safety planning and navigating resources which may include UNCW's Title IX options, reporting to law enforcement, or filing for a protective order. Documentation of the abuse can be helpful when choosing any of these options.
At CARE, we understand how difficult leaving or ending a relationship can be. Advocates can provide non-judgmental support and safety-planning to those choosing to remain in their relationship as well.
Additional support and shelter can be found through the Domestic Violence Shelter and Services, Inc. by calling (910) 343-0703
