In addition to having reactions similar to other friends or family members, you may experience additional situations and/or feelings to address:
- You may feel that you should have protected your partner from the situation. You may feel guilty or ashamed, especially in situations where you were not present. Oftentimes this results in wanting to retaliate by harming the harm-doer. However, being aggressive or violent can cause more distress and worry for your partner.
- It is important to respect your partner's wishes. It may be difficult if you disagree with their decisions but it is important that they have power and control over their choices in these moments and that they feel fully supported and not judged by you.
- You may feel uncertainty as to your partner's needs and expectations. You may feel torn between the desire to act as if nothing has changed or act as if your partner is injured or delicate. Make sure to ask your partner what they need from you.
- You may feel like your relationship and lives have changed. While your partner gets help with their healing process, you may also need support for the changes in both your life and your relationship. CARE advocates and Counseling Center staff can offer you support throughout the process.
- You may not know how to address intimacy. It is crucial that you listen to your partner. After a sexual assault, talking to your partner about your concerns - and listening to their concerns - will often lead to a more open and satisfying sexual connection. There may be changes in how you connect sexually and a pause in your sexual relationship may be appropriate. However, it can be helpful to express to your partner that you continue to desire them while remaining cautious not to pressure them or cause distress.
It can be difficult to support someone you care about that has been hurt. Be sure to take time to take care of yourself and get the support that you need, as well.
