Parents

Some common reactions may include:

• Concern for your child: Parents may feel some stress and anxiety about how to appropriately help them deal with the aftermath of trauma.
• Helplessness: Oftentimes, parents wish they could have protected their child and look for ways to make life go back to normal. This can be especially difficult for parents who live far from the campus.
• Feeling out of control: Just as the victim is feeling the effects of the loss of control in their lives, so too does the parent. The assault/abuse has changed their child as well as the relationship they have with their child and it can feel frustrating to not be able to control that.  
• Wanting to harm the offender: This is a natural reaction but can ultimately create further crisis. It may even result in the victim feeling like they need to protect or defend the harm-doer.
• Loss of intimacy/trust: Because your child needs time to work on trust issues, the loss of trust affects all of their relationships. A part of rebuilding trust is to be patient and consistently giving them control over their decisions. 
• Guilt: It is common for parents to feel guilty about their own feelings of anger, frustration or helplessness at how the situation is disrupting their family and at how their child is responding.
• Difficulty expressing your own feelings: Parents may feel that because they are not the primary victim of what occurred, they should be able to deal with their own feelings and "just get over it". It may be hard to acknowledge their own needs for support. 
• Secondary traumatic stress: Vicarious trauma refers to a changing in someone's worldview as the result of hearing a victim's story. It is important for parents to realize that their feelings are valid and important. Consider utilizing stress reduction techniques or seeking therapy to manage the emotions, and refrain from placing blame on your child.