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Wilmington Shows: Favorite David Sedaris Quotes

Saturday, April 13, 2019

UNCW Presents is thrilled to welcome David Sedaris back to the Kenan Auditorium stage on Monday, April 15th for another Wilmington show. Much of North Carolina’s quirks and complications weave their way into Sedaris’s beloved personal essays and short stories—Sedaris having grown up in Raleigh, spending summers vacationing on Emerald Isle. As Whitney Pastorek of Entertainment Weekly has said, “Sedaris ain’t the preeminent humorist of his generation by accident.” 

Calypso Sedaris Wilmington ShowsDavid Sedaris is the author of Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice, as well as collections of personal essays, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and DenimWhen You Are Engulfed in Flames, Let’s Explore Diabetes with OwlsSquirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary, and Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002),  each of which became an immediate bestseller.  Calypso, his latest collection of essays, is a New York Times best-seller, and a Washington Post Best Book of the Year. Sedaris’s pieces appear regularly in The New Yorker and have twice been included in “The Best American Essays.” 

To get ready for Sedaris on the stage, we’ve compiled a list of favorite quotes from his collections: 

“I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”  
from Naked 

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”  
from Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls 

“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”  
from Me Talk Pretty One Day 

“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”  
from Holidays on Ice 

“It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.”  
from When You Are Engulfed in Flames 

“Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.”  
from Calypso 

Experience David Sedaris’s trademark sardonic wit live in Kenan Auditorium Monday, April 15th! He will be available to sign books before and after the event, and books will be for sale in the lobby. Tickets are available online or at the UNCW Arts Ticket Office Monday through Friday from 12-4 p.m.  

-Lindsay Lake